Spoiler:
I really am the worst person I've ever met my entire life. I'm such an asshole that I honestly believe the world will be a little bit better with me.
The up and down phases have been much more frequent and intense. I've been feeling stupid and foggy, like I can't even access my brain. I'm so much more irritable, anything can make me cry, and I'm so much more of a jerk. Therapist saps it's a side effect of the anti depressant and whatever I'm taking isn't working so I need to ween myself off of it and start a new med. Up or down, I still believe that I am just a bad human being. Can't keep blaming chemicals in my brain for turning me into the worst I can possibly be in any situation. Like, there is literally no excuse for my recent behaviors - I'm just bat shit crazy and horrible. I wish I could change my mental state for good, and then focus on trying to make my myself less of a piece of shit that I am now.
The up and down phases have been much more frequent and intense. I've been feeling stupid and foggy, like I can't even access my brain. I'm so much more irritable, anything can make me cry, and I'm so much more of a jerk. Therapist saps it's a side effect of the anti depressant and whatever I'm taking isn't working so I need to ween myself off of it and start a new med. Up or down, I still believe that I am just a bad human being. Can't keep blaming chemicals in my brain for turning me into the worst I can possibly be in any situation. Like, there is literally no excuse for my recent behaviors - I'm just bat shit crazy and horrible. I wish I could change my mental state for good, and then focus on trying to make my myself less of a piece of shit that I am now.
















