What's on your mind?

[aly_angelflight]

University, get your priorities straight. We need a new classroom building with at least two 100+ capacity lecture halls, not another freaking dorm.

[Cider]

Another Ciderrant. It really makes no sense whatsoever so please don't mind me. Nobody should ever waste their precious time reading this really, it's just me talking to myself.

Spoiler:

Here's the thing: I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I hate school. My degree will be worthless, and I can't afford to get another one. Even if I do, I can't seem to find new interests at all. It's like my life was sucked out of me. The future makes me anxious because I know for a fact I will turn out to be a failure. It depresses the crap out of me, yet I have will to change it. I know I can't. It's the best thing ever to tell somebody who is stuck in a limbo stage and has no idea what's going on anymore that "That's a great thing that's not going to happen until you've done this and this and this and this". Thank you.

It's a shitty thing to do to tell someone "Oh, the right time will come" and then give a specific timeline for when the "right time" is. I swear to god 2 years ago it was when I graduate college, but apparently it got pushed back indefinitely until I have a hyping graduate degree. No, I don't want to go to grad school. I am barely making it through this year of college. I have no idea why I'm even trying to finish this degree, because it is useless. I do not want to go to hyping grad school because WHAT THE hype WOULD I STUDY THERE. Maybe later, but not right now. And it's also not a decision you can make and stick to MY face, this is my hyping life. Also, lol, there is no way in hell I can afford grad school right now so that's hilarious too. Sorry but I'm a useless piece of shit without a grad degree and a huge liability, lol. hype off.

I'm just aimlessly thrifting through life. I have no goals, no ambitions, nothing to live for. I'm the definition of a worthless human being taking up the world's resources and not contributing to shit. I get that. I've been trying to run away from my own self and the future for way too long, and I've been living in my head for much longer. I just can't go on like this anymore. Everyday when I wake up I asked myself why I was still breathing, and everynight before bed I secretly hope that I would never wake. There is literally no reason for me to keep dealing with the misery that is life other than my mom, and I get to see her like, 2 months a year. Great.

End rant.

On an unrelated note, this is a cool lyric video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxTH8GZ4PC4

[Commi-Ninja]

Spoiler:

Here's the thing: I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I hate school. My degree will be worthless, and I can't afford to get another one. Even if I do, I can't seem to find new interests at all. It's like my life was sucked out of me. The future makes me anxious because I know for a fact I will turn out to be a failure. It depresses the crap out of me, yet I have will to change it. I know I can't. It's the best thing ever to tell somebody who is stuck in a limbo stage and has no idea what's going on anymore that "That's a great thing that's not going to happen until you've done this and this and this and this". Thank you.

It's a shitty thing to do to tell someone "Oh, the right time will come" and then give a specific timeline for when the "right time" is. I swear to god 2 years ago it was when I graduate college, but apparently it got pushed back indefinitely until I have a hyping graduate degree. No, I don't want to go to grad school. I am barely making it through this year of college. I have no idea why I'm even trying to finish this degree, because it is useless. I do not want to go to hyping grad school because WHAT THE hype WOULD I STUDY THERE. Maybe later, but not right now. And it's also not a decision you can make and stick to MY face, this is my hyping life. Also, lol, there is no way in hell I can afford grad school right now so that's hilarious too. Sorry but I'm a useless piece of shit without a grad degree and a huge liability, lol. hype off.

I'm just aimlessly thrifting through life. I have no goals, no ambitions, nothing to live for. I'm the definition of a worthless human being taking up the world's resources and not contributing to shit. I get that. I've been trying to run away from my own self and the future for way too long, and I've been living in my head for much longer. I just can't go on like this anymore. Everyday when I wake up I asked myself why I was still breathing, and everynight before bed I secretly hope that I would never wake. There is literally no reason for me to keep dealing with the misery that is life other than my mom, and I get to see her like, 2 months a year. Great.

Response to Cinderrant:

Spoiler:

Regarding degrees: I have a Bachelor's in History and I refuse to become a teacher. I understand what it means to have a useless degree (I've been told from the start that it's useless by everyone - including my history professors, except one). In my case, a graduate degree would only help a little. As for those who say "the right time will come" - they're liars. There is no right or wrong time. Patience is important, but so is hard work. I understand that you're struggling with your degree and can't really change it, but maybe something good will come of it, even if it's just that you know for certain you want to do something else with your life. At least you've learned that much. As for their supposed timeline, I thought my life would improve once I graduated, that I'd get a new job and get out of retail. It's been ten months. I've submitted several applications (though, admittedly, I could definitely work harder for that), but I've got next to no response on 90% of them. I did have one company actively avoid talking to me, or at least that's what it felt like.

You can't know for a fact that you'll become a failure unless you just give up entirely. You fail 100% of the things you don't try (or something like that).

Having no ambition/goal isn't the worst thing. I hope, anyway, 'cause I haven't got those either. For now, I'm trying to learn new skills/topics to see what clicks. I've begun learning to sew, I've studied some Calculus through MIT's OpenCourseWare online, I'm writing the rest of my novel. And, you know, maybe you just need a change of perspective or scenery, even if it's only for an afternoon. Sometimes that can help clear up some of the stress.

Hang in there, Cider!

PS - sorry if that didn't make a whole lot of sense. I kept jumping back and forth in the paragraphs.

[char13happy]

I hate accounting. No, scratch that. I /loathe/ accounting.

[Cider]

Spoiler:

Here's the thing: I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I hate school. My degree will be worthless, and I can't afford to get another one. Even if I do, I can't seem to find new interests at all. It's like my life was sucked out of me. The future makes me anxious because I know for a fact I will turn out to be a failure. It depresses the crap out of me, yet I have will to change it. I know I can't. It's the best thing ever to tell somebody who is stuck in a limbo stage and has no idea what's going on anymore that "That's a great thing that's not going to happen until you've done this and this and this and this". Thank you.

It's a shitty thing to do to tell someone "Oh, the right time will come" and then give a specific timeline for when the "right time" is. I swear to god 2 years ago it was when I graduate college, but apparently it got pushed back indefinitely until I have a hyping graduate degree. No, I don't want to go to grad school. I am barely making it through this year of college. I have no idea why I'm even trying to finish this degree, because it is useless. I do not want to go to hyping grad school because WHAT THE hype WOULD I STUDY THERE. Maybe later, but not right now. And it's also not a decision you can make and stick to MY face, this is my hyping life. Also, lol, there is no way in hell I can afford grad school right now so that's hilarious too. Sorry but I'm a useless piece of shit without a grad degree and a huge liability, lol. hype off.

I'm just aimlessly thrifting through life. I have no goals, no ambitions, nothing to live for. I'm the definition of a worthless human being taking up the world's resources and not contributing to shit. I get that. I've been trying to run away from my own self and the future for way too long, and I've been living in my head for much longer. I just can't go on like this anymore. Everyday when I wake up I asked myself why I was still breathing, and everynight before bed I secretly hope that I would never wake. There is literally no reason for me to keep dealing with the misery that is life other than my mom, and I get to see her like, 2 months a year. Great.

Response to Cinderrant:

Spoiler:

Regarding degrees: I have a Bachelor's in History and I refuse to become a teacher. I understand what it means to have a useless degree (I've been told from the start that it's useless by everyone - including my history professors, except one). In my case, a graduate degree would only help a little. As for those who say "the right time will come" - they're liars. There is no right or wrong time. Patience is important, but so is hard work. I understand that you're struggling with your degree and can't really change it, but maybe something good will come of it, even if it's just that you know for certain you want to do something else with your life. At least you've learned that much. As for their supposed timeline, I thought my life would improve once I graduated, that I'd get a new job and get out of retail. It's been ten months. I've submitted several applications (though, admittedly, I could definitely work harder for that), but I've got next to no response on 90% of them. I did have one company actively avoid talking to me, or at least that's what it felt like.

You can't know for a fact that you'll become a failure unless you just give up entirely. You fail 100% of the things you don't try (or something like that).

Having no ambition/goal isn't the worst thing. I hope, anyway, 'cause I haven't got those either. For now, I'm trying to learn new skills/topics to see what clicks. I've begun learning to sew, I've studied some Calculus through MIT's OpenCourseWare online, I'm writing the rest of my novel. And, you know, maybe you just need a change of perspective or scenery, even if it's only for an afternoon. Sometimes that can help clear up some of the stress.

Hang in there, Cider!

PS - sorry if that didn't make a whole lot of sense. I kept jumping back and forth in the paragraphs.

*big hugs*
Thank you Commi for being so kind to me. I hope you'll get a callback soon. I had no problems reading it, probably because that's how I wrote mine too XD

[Iwamoto Yuri]

*hugs Cider*
I feel you hun, I really do.

[Jd-]

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[rocketpropelledbear]

Huh, Clarkson's been suspended. This is... more surprising than it should be, I guess?

@Absol: *sends pillows and hot chocolate*

I am actually surprised he get some form of comeuppance considering how much money Top Gear must be rolling in for the BBC. I won't deny the fact that Top Gear is fun most of the times but they (especially Clarkson) went over the edge too many times, just look at the incredibly long list of people and organisation they managed to piss off and offend (sometimes, including myself).

I said I was surprised at the suspension. I think you misunderstood me.

I am aware you seemed to be surprised that he got himself suspended, I am too. My subsequent comment is a just a rant.

[kkslider5552000]

I decided at 2:30 AM to record 45 minutes of me getting mad at one of my favorite games. Hooray!

[Stopwatch]

Huh, Clarkson's been suspended. This is... more surprising than it should be, I guess?

@Absol: *sends pillows and hot chocolate*

I am actually surprised he get some form of comeuppance considering how much money Top Gear must be rolling in for the BBC. I won't deny the fact that Top Gear is fun most of the times but they (especially Clarkson) went over the edge too many times, just look at the incredibly long list of people and organisation they managed to piss off and offend (sometimes, including myself).

I said I was surprised at the suspension. I think you misunderstood me.

I am aware you seemed to be surprised that he got himself suspended, I am too. My subsequent comment is a just a rant.

It was that the suspension happened that surprised me not that he'd do something worthy of one. Just to clarify.

[Jd-]

If you know any of the languages below (or any except English, Japanese, Spanish, Chinese, Russian, German, and French, as those are covered) and you have a few minutes to translate a very short two-word phrase, post here or PM me.

Korean
Thai
Polish
Arabic
Indonesian
Italian
Tagalog
Dutch

[Iwamoto Yuri]

I know Dutch (duh )
Not sure if that's useful.

[Kor]

I know Hebrew, if you need that one.

[Jd-]

@ Kor/Yuri: PMs!

[MoonRaven]

@Jd-: I know Finnish (and Swedish).


OMM: I'm listening to old Detective Conan World podcasts.(ep21)