My novel

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Kor
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My novel

Post by Kor »

if any one is interested in reading (and commenting) it would be much appriciated.
It's a bit long but...feel free to criticize and tell how much you hated it (if you did of course  ;))
I think that any of you can tell how much I was influenced by animes, so...yeah...

sidenote: the words "demon" and "daemon" have the exact same meaning, however in my settings, Daemon is a race of a demon. (I think it was enough to drive away half of the people here  ;D)

enjoy the reading (it's only the first draft after the edit, but I personally think it's good enough. feel free to tell me I'm wrong)
Spoiler:
Chapter One ©

    Mardock yawned after a long day's work. He was on his way home from the capitol of Nardalach after slaying a demon that had been menacing the princess.
    Mardock was known as the legendary Demon Slayer. This was because fifteen years before, he had singlehandedly slain an army of a hundred demons. That made his name echo throughout the demon world and still today he is feared by many a demon.
    Very few people can slay demons. To do this, one needed special mystical powers or the use of magic, thus if demons ever appeared in this world, not many humans would know how to get rid of them. A demon showing up in the human world was quite common in bygone times, and to deal with the problem people came up with a solution called Demon Slaying.
    A demon couldn't be killed by the sword alone; the would-be demon-slayer had to channel his spiritual powers into his weapon in order to actually harm the demon. There were many ideas about how a demon could be killed, like using holy water or possessing a silver weapon; however, only those who went through demon-slaying training knew how to use these methods properly.
    Mardock didn't have a lot of equipment. He always had a small bottle of holy water in his pocket, a slightly curved silver dagger in a sheath fixed onto his belt and a golden staff with a sharp circle-like blade on top. He also carried a small bag containing scrolls and a special glowing ink which he used for writing on the scrolls.
    Demons were something mortals found hard to understand. All they evidently wanted was power, all they sought was chaos and destruction. That's why they came to the human world -- humans were easy prey. Demons were ruthless and for the most part had no emotions. Some demon races, such as the Succubi, know passion and with passion come many other emotions. Thus races like the Succubi were also responsible for many cases of inter-breeding between a human and a demon, resulting in an issue that is half human half demon. That kind of offspring is commonly called a half-demon, at least in the human world. Half-demons could come in many forms depending on the race of the demon parent. They shared features of both their human and their demon parents. No one liked half-demons, sometimes they were mistaken for demons, other times people drove them away out of fear. Even if the half- demon was a kindhearted type of person, he was still hated and would be driven out. But that's the way humans are: anyone different, anyone who scares them, they will try and remove.
    If the demon parent of the half-demon happens to be its mother she may take her offspring with her back to the demon world where it will be enslaved, otherwise she may simply dump it somewhere, either in the demon world or in the human world. No matter where half-demons were, they never had a proper place to be because they were welcomed neither in the human world nor in the demon world.
    Between different demon races too there were many breeds. If two demons from different races mate, the result can be an odd breed of demon sharing features of both demon races and these kind of breeds even in the demon world never find their true place because they are not pure and are considered slaves or among the lowest ranks of society.
    It was Unfortunate that the princess's personal bodyguard had been sent on a mission in the neighboring land of Garmel, otherwise Mardock wouldn't have been called to the castle. After all he was fifty-seven years old by now and his age had started to tell. But had he refused to come he would have gotten into another row with the royal household.
    As always, he had no trouble slaying the demon and protecting the young princess. Though technically she wasn't very young. In fact she was almost twenty years old, but stuck at age ten. That was because ten years earlier, a sorcerer had come to the castle and killed all the royal family except for the young princess, but not without putting a curse on her that would prevent her from growing up. Thus, although she was the last remaining survivor of the monarchy she wasn't anywhere near old enough to be queen.
    But all that was of no concern to Mardock. Famous as he was, he was still a commoner and not rich. He didn't care much about money and had a deep dislike of the arrogant aristocrats. That's why he lived in a small little hut on a mountain near a small village, away from the big cities.
  To his good fortune, as he started on his way back from the capitol a farmer from his village came by on his cart and agreed to give him a ride to the village.  
    It was getting dark, but soon he'd be home.
    Mardock took out of his bag eight scrolls, the special ink and the rods which he had bought earlier that day. To pass the time, he wrote the same ancient letter on each of the scrolls, then wrapped each scroll around one of the metal rods.
    He had an eerie feeling that something was wrong. He sighed. "You can let me off here," he told the farmer.
    "But we're almost at the village," said the farmer as he stopped the cart.
    Mardock jumped from the cart. "Don't worry, I know a shortcut from here to my house -- quicker than walking home from the village."  
    The farmer nodded. "Very well. Take care Mardock," he advised, and went his way.
    Mardock walked back in the direction they had come from to increase the distance between him and the cart. There were still puddles around left from the rain that had fallen that morning.
    Mardock dropped his bags and called out "All right, whoever you are, I know you're here so you're wasting your time stalking me."
    At first nothing happened, but then from behind the nearby trees emerged a beautiful girl, somewhere around the end of her teens. She had long blonde hair and brilliant blue gem-like eyes.
    Mardock smiled and pulled the bottle of holy-water out of his pocket: "Why are you following me?" he asked.
    "Someone as famous as you! If I kill you I'll win the praise of the whole demon world," she said.
    Mardock took a good look at the woman's body. She's even more beautiful than a Succubus, he thought. "And do you think I'd lower my guard if I fought a pretty girl?" he asked her. Mardock couldn't be sure if it was really a 'she' of course, it could be a demon disguised as a beautiful female with a humanoid appearance.
    "You insolent human!" the woman shouted at him "This is how I look."
    Mardock opened the bottle "Well then, there is only one way to prove it," he said, and splashed the water on the demon.
    The water touched her skin and slightly burned it, but she stayed the same as she was, which meant the demon's true appearance was in fact a beautiful girl who looks like a human.
    There was only one race of demons with the exact appearance of a human, the most powerful demons in the demon world and the noblest of all, the Daemon race.
"To be targeted by a Daemon," said Mardock, "Well, that's an honor I've yet to experience."
    The demon girl looked at the small skin burns caused by the water. "What the hell is that?" she demanded to know.
    "Holy water," Mardock said "but a powerful demon like you won't be harmed  too badly by it."
    The burn marks left by the holy water disappeared in seconds, as though they had never been. "Who cares?" she scoffed. "In any case, you're going to die now!" she shouted, jumping up.
    Daemons had great physical abilities. They could jump really high, their physical strength was enormous and their movements lithe. They could also endure a lot of pain and still keep going.
    The female, who jumped as high as she could, landed quickly and swooped on Mardock threatening to punch him with her fist. If Mardock got hit, he would either die or have a lot of broken bones, but either option was not part of his plan. Just as the demon was about to punch, he dodged back and drew out his silver dagger.
    The girl missed Mardock and hit the ground with all her might. So powerful was her punch that its impact made a small hole in the ground. This was Mardock's chance to strike; while his assailant was still floundering he could stab her to death. But after waiting so many years to fight a Daemon alone, it was somehow not as challenging as he had expected. Even while on the attack he couldn't help feeling a bit sorry for this female. She was still young and so beautiful, yet all she had ever known was ruthlessness. It wasn't her fault that she was brought up to believe in what she believed. Mardock felt that if a demon lived in the human world, like a human being, that demon would cease to be cruel and ruthless.
    So engrossed was Mardock in his own thoughts, he failed to notice that he had not penetrated the demon's chest but had only made a small cut there. He so pitied the poor demon! He really didn't want to kill her. Never had he had such feelings towards demons, but because this one looked exactly like a female human he fancied that she may be able to live in the human world.
    The female sprang back, a look of panic in her brilliant blue eyes: she had almost been stabbed in the chest by a silver dagger; it could have been her end!
    Mardock shelved his thoughts. If he didn't stop the demon straight away, she could easily kill him. Fortunately he knew a lot of ways to actually stop a demon from moving. After that he would have more time to figure out what to do with her.
    He flung his staff at her. She smiled and deftly caught it: "Was that suppose to hurt me?" she asked mockingly.
    Her catching the staff was precisely Mardock's plan, but it wasn't going to end with that. Mardock took one of his special rods and threw it a few feet behind the demon. Suddenly she gave a scream of pain as the palms of her hands started to burn from holding the staff, and she quickly let go.
    Next, while the demon woman squirmed in pain, Mardock took two other rods and threw them several feet to her right and left. She took no notice, just yelled at Mardock: "You'll pay for this!"
    Then, Mardock stuck the fourth rod into the ground next to him, which was also just a few feet from the Daemon.
    The girl was still furious, but now, instead of trying to attack Mardock by physical means, she decided to attack him remotely and kill him that way. The palm of her right hand started to emit a light purple glow and just as she was about to unleash the full potential of her demonic powers, all the rods around her glowed green and she was stopped in her tracks -- not only unable to move, but also unable to use her demonic powers to lethal advantage.
    "What is this?" she shouted angrily at Mardock.
    "This should stop you from hurting me for a while." Mardock said.
    The demon struggled, trying to break free of whatever was stopping her from moving but the more she struggled, the more difficult and painful it became.
    "Don't struggle so much, you'll just hurt yourself." Mardock advised as he brought out of his bag another scroll and his special ink.
    The demon girl sat on the ground and sighed "Well, are you going to kill me then?"
    Mardock was amused: had that been his intention he would have done it already. "No," he said, "I'm trying to think what to do with you. Anyhow, do you have a name?"
    The girl turned away her head away and then said "My name is Sapphire, but what does it matter and what do you mean by 'trying to think what to do with me'?"
    "Sapphire is a nice name. Is it because of your eyes?" he asked with a smile.
    Sapphire didn't answer; instead she gazed at him for a moment, her gaze slowly turning into a look of shock. "You…you're a sick man if you think I'm going to let you to exploit me like that!" she said.
    Mardock smirked and said "Take it easy, I'm not going to do anything to you."
    "Then release me from whatever you've done and let me kill you!" said the girl.
    Mardock started to explain "Oh that? While you were otherwise engaged, I stuck four metal rods into the ground around you, each wrapped with a scroll I'd prepared earlier when I sensed you were following me. The scrolls react to your demon blood and will stop even the most powerful demon. If you were a weaker demon, I could have simply stopped you with just one scroll, but that kind of thing won't affect you, my dear."
    Mardock just sat on the ground with his scroll at hand, trying to think what to do next. He could stab her with his silver dagger while she was completely helpless and defenseless but that wouldn't be fair. Another option was to banish her back to the demon world but then she could easily return in a few days and kill him while he was unprepared. She didn't seem to him like a really bad person, but that was because she looked like a young woman and there was nothing about her to suggest that she wasn't ruthless and without emotion. It was beyond Mardock's power to talk a demon into becoming a good person right away. A demon wouldn't just start to develop emotions without any proper reason. After all, for years Sapphire had lived in the demon world and was educated to be a demon. Only if she turned human could she possibly develop emotions, but if that didn't happen, then at least she wouldn't be dangerous, because a human doesn't have any power. That was actually a good option, yet impossible. There was, however, one way to stem Sapphire's powers and make her have feelings, but the problem was that Mardock had never done anything so complicated and it would take some time.
    Mardock had never thought that way because he had never victimized a demon, but it seemed as though Sapphire had somehow charmed him and he felt sorry for her.    
    He drew an ancient letter on the scrolls and started to concentrate.
    Meanwhile, Sapphire just sat on the ground, very bored. She noticed Mardock wasn't paying her any attention, as though he didn't care that she was still alive and unable to move. She wished that either this paralysis would somehow end or she could break free from it and kill Mardock. She had gone to the human world in order to kill Mardock thereby proving to one and all that she was the most powerful demon in the demon world. However she didn't expect him to beat her with such ease. If only she had paid more attention to the rods he was throwing around, then maybe she could have escaped from this paralysis and be able to strike Mardock. But no, she was furious at Mardock for putting her through so much pain and all she wanted was to use her demonic powers to kill him and get her revenge. "If you are just going to sit there the whole day, then please kill me before I die of boredom!" she demanded.
    He smiled sardonically: "Why are you in such a rush to die? Are you afraid of what the other demons will think of you back in the demon world? If I kill you, then you are just another of those countless demons I've already killed in my lifetime. Do you really want to be remembered like that? It doesn't seem so glorious to me."
    Sapphire angrily punched the ground with all her might, but that was a mistake, her whole body shuddered in pain. She was fixed to the place where she stood, but within it she could at least move about a bit. Then the thought struck her: Mardock had said that against someone like her, one scroll wouldn't be enough to paralyze her, therefore if one of the scrolls is damaged, then maybe she could break free and kill him. She couldn't run away; if she returned to the demon world and said she had escaped, everyone there would call her a coward. Therefore she had no choice but to kill Mardock.
    She looked at Mardock whose eyes were closed in deep concentration. She picked up a stone from the ground with her right hand and threw it at the rod to her left. She'd hoped to damage the scroll somehow but she missed the rod. She needed a lot of luck to actually hit the thin rod around which the scroll was wrapped. She picked up another stone and tried to aim better this time, but as she threw the stone, she felt a sudden pain in her back -- she had moved too much. This time though, the stone hit the rod. However, it did nothing and Sapphire was still not free. Maybe she needed to knock it over so the scroll would get muddy and wet, but for that she needed something a lot bigger than a little stone. She looked down and found what she needed; the demon-slayer's staff was still lying on the ground next to her -- Mardock had not taken it away.  But if she tried to pick it up, it would burn her hands and while her powers were still paralyzed, maybe her wounds would not heal so fast. No, Sapphire decided, it was a risk she had to take. If she wanted to break free, she had to pick up the staff, endure the pain and throw it at one of the rods. That was the only way she could free herself and kill Mardock.
    She looked at Mardock and even after her two attempts to damage the scroll, he still didn't look at her. This was her best chance before Mardock started to notice what she was trying to do.
    Closing her eyes she quickly lifted the staff. The flesh of her hands immediately started to burn and she cried out in pain. Summoning all her strength, she threw the staff at the same rod she had aimed at before.  Her whole body was wracked in pain, caused by paralysis, this in addition to the terrible burns on her hands. The pain would soon be over, she told herself as she hurled the staff.
    Then all of a sudden she felt some of her strength returning. She opened her eyes and saw the rod which she had aimed for lying on the ground. She had succeeded! Now all that remained was to hit Mardock and kill him. She stood up and saw that Mardock had opened his eyes. Obviously, Sapphire's moves had not gone unnoticed and he was going to defend himself or attack her -- at least that's what she thought. She would have used her demonic powers, but she was still somewhat weak and partly affected by paralysis so she leapt towards Mardock, prepared to strike him with her fist.
    All this time she hadn't noticed that not only was Mardock ignoring her, he was also talking in a strange language. He saw her leap towards him and quickly sprang to his feet. He held up his scroll and proclaimed: "Seal!"
    At that moment, all the letters in the scroll started to glow green, then a green flashy beam emanated from it in Sapphire's direction. So huge was this beam that it covered Sapphire's entire body, but while this strange green light was on her she felt no pain, just a weird sensation flowing through her body.
Edit: The chapter here is an older version. I changed it and posted the newer version in the second page. I'm leaving this one for reference....
Last edited by Kor on September 4th, 2010, 11:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
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CoolKid3

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Re: My novel - chapter 1

Post by CoolKid3 »

Is this the one you were referring to when you asked for tips on the English grammar? I haven't read the story though...
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Kor
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Re: My novel - chapter 1

Post by Kor »

CoolKid3 wrote: Is this the one you were referring to when you asked for tips on the English grammar? I haven't read the story though...
yes and I found an english writer/editor who agreed to edit for me, so the english should be perfect.
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hakkaino7
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Re: My novel - chapter 1

Post by hakkaino7 »

You're wrong...
Spoiler:
Daemon is a mounting tool  >:(




joking aside... I haven't read it...yet
Edit: wow this looks like a promising story... so far the only thing I did notice that looked bad was this paragraph
Spoiler:
    If the demon parent of the half-demon happens to be its mother she may take her offspring with her back to the demon world where it will be enslaved, otherwise she may simply dump it somewhere, either in the demon world or in the human world. No matter where half-demons were, they never had a proper place to be because they were welcomed neither in the human world nor in the demon world.
It seemed rather repetitive... you could have used the phrase both worlds in the last part instead of repeating the human world and the demon world

And what's the title and the genre for your novel? If the title is not too generic and the genre is not some kind of one-old-man-with-many-young-and-beautiful-demons-echii then I'll probably buy this  ;D
Last edited by hakkaino7 on November 20th, 2009, 11:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Kor
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Re: My novel - chapter 1

Post by Kor »

hakkaino7 wrote: You're wrong...
Spoiler:
Daemon is a mounting tool  >:(




joking aside... I haven't read it...yet
Edit: wow this looks like a promising story... so far the only thing I did notice that looked bad was this paragraph
Spoiler:
     If the demon parent of the half-demon happens to be its mother she may take her offspring with her back to the demon world where it will be enslaved, otherwise she may simply dump it somewhere, either in the demon world or in the human world. No matter where half-demons were, they never had a proper place to be because they were welcomed neither in the human world nor in the demon world.
It seemed rather repetitive... you could have used the phrase both worlds in the last part instead of repeating the human world and the demon world

And what's the title and the genre for your novel? If the title is not too generic and the genre is not some kind of one-old-man-with-many-young-and-beautiful-demons-echii then I'll probably buy this  ;D
thanks!
note taken.

the title for now is "Demon Slayer: The Girl from Hell". the genre is fantasy (and young adult, though adults can enjoy this as well...I think)
I'm saying the title is this for now, because the name "Demon Slayer" may drive girls away from it and I discovered (last week) there was once a comic book with the same name so I don't know if the name can be used again.
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Re: My novel - chapter 1

Post by CoolKid3 »

Kor wrote: the title for now is "Demon Slayer: The Girl from Hell". the genre is fantasy (and young adult, though adults can enjoy this as well...I think)
I'm saying the title is this for now, because the name "Demon Slayer" may drive girls away from it and I discovered (last week) there was once a comic book with the same name so I don't know if the name can be used again.
Still I haven't read the story but with the inclusion of the Girl from Hell in the title makes me think that you've been influenced by Jigoku Shoujo Enma Ai (Hell Girl anime series)... Just my guess though...

Reading the spoiler tags of hakkaino7, may I suggest to actually have a name for the demon world... Just invent your own name or maybe a local term in your country equivalent to hell... A catchy name of the place would add points in your novel... In case, there's actually a name written somewhere in chapter, forgive me... I'm a really lazy person when it comes to reading stories... I love hearing them but not reading them...
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hakkaino7
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Re: My novel - chapter 1

Post by hakkaino7 »

dude, the novel's already finished...  :P don't pressure him


You can think of a better name than that though. Something that is unique in this story usually does some magic. Like One Piece (the treasure their looking for), Detective Conan, Naruto (name of the protagonist), Dragon Ball, Death Note... etc... catchy names also work but not even close enough to using something unique.

I think Daemon would also work. Using something from the later part of the novel could also work, but make sure it creates a certain kind of impact when the readers finally understand why it is the title
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Re: My novel - chapter 1

Post by Kor »

CoolKid3 wrote:
Kor wrote: the title for now is "Demon Slayer: The Girl from Hell". the genre is fantasy (and young adult, though adults can enjoy this as well...I think)
I'm saying the title is this for now, because the name "Demon Slayer" may drive girls away from it and I discovered (last week) there was once a comic book with the same name so I don't know if the name can be used again.
Still I haven't read the story but with the inclusion of the Girl from Hell in the title makes me think that you've been influenced by Jigoku Shoujo Enma Ai (Hell Girl anime series)... Just my guess though...
while I'm aware of the anime's existence, no. I've never watched it before and I don't know what's it about.
hakkaino7 wrote: You can think of a better name than that though. Something that is unique in this story usually does some magic. Like One Piece (the treasure their looking for), Detective Conan, Naruto (name of the protagonist), Dragon Ball, Death Note... etc... catchy names also work but not even close enough to using something unique.

I think Daemon would also work. Using something from the later part of the novel could also work, but make sure it creates a certain kind of impact when the readers finally understand why it is the title
I'll have to think about it then. Daemon might work though.
CoolKid3 wrote: Reading the spoiler tags of hakkaino7, may I suggest to actually have a name for the demon world... Just invent your own name or maybe a local term in your country equivalent to hell... A catchy name of the place would add points in your novel... In case, there's actually a name written somewhere in chapter, forgive me... I'm a really lazy person when it comes to reading stories... I love hearing them but not reading them...
if I use something from the hebrew language, people might think I try to refer to the bible or some sort of jewish stuff, and I don't want such a thing. (I mean, Gehenom or Azazel aren't so catchy, right?)
but if you read some pages of the Ai + Conan thread, reading this chapter shouldn't be a problem  :P
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Re: My novel - chapter 1

Post by CoolKid3 »

hakkaino7 wrote: I think Daemon would also work. Using something from the later part of the novel could also work, but make sure it creates a certain kind of impact when the readers finally understand why it is the title
I was actually thinking of a late introduction... Basically the same idea...

@ Kor: How many have you chapters (draft) have you finished writing?

And I'm not been reading the Ai+Conan thread so I dunno what you're talking about... Hehehe... ;D
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Re: My novel - chapter 1

Post by hakkaino7 »

Kor wrote: if I use something from the hebrew language, people might think I try to refer to the bible or some sort of jewish stuff, and I don't want such a thing. (I mean, Gehenom or Azazel aren't so catchy, right?)
Their catchy but as a name and not as a title. Unless of course you use the names directly in the story. Which I don't think you didn't
CoolKid3 wrote: @ Kor: How many have you chapters (draft) have you finished writing?
I remember him/her talking about the novel being finished and he's just waiting for the editor or something. So the novel is most likely already finished. (Unless I got the wrong poster  :o Its alread 2:27 AM here)
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Re: My novel - chapter 1

Post by Kor »

hakkaino7 wrote:
CoolKid3 wrote: @ Kor: How many have you chapters (draft) have you finished writing?
I remember him/her talking about the novel being finished and he's just waiting for the editor or something. So the novel is most likely already finished. (Unless I got the wrong poster  :o Its alread 2:27 AM here)
that's correct. I already finished the novel and now my editor is taking care of it.
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Re: My novel - chapter 1

Post by CoolKid3 »

if I use something from the hebrew language, people might think I try to refer to the bible or some sort of jewish stuff, and I don't want such a thing. (I mean, Gehenom or Azazel aren't so catchy, right?)

Their catchy but as a name and not as a title. Unless of course you use the names directly in the story. Which I don't think you didn't
For a foreigner point of view, it's catchy... I would even research for the origin when I get into the novel...
Its alread 2:27 AM here
Not related to topic... Currently doing night shifts (like me)?
that's correct. I already finished the novel and now my editor is taking care of it.
But are you still willing to edit your work (minor repairs at the very least) in case someone posted in this thread a really nice suggestion? So far, there are only the 3 of us talking... What if someone who's exposed to various novels pinpoint necessary adjustment(s)?
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Re: My novel - chapter 1

Post by Kor »

CoolKid3 wrote: But are you still willing to edit your work (minor repairs at the very least) in case someone posted in this thread a really nice suggestion? So far, there are only the 3 of us talking... What if someone who's exposed to various novels pinpoint necessary adjustment(s)?
of course I am, otherwise I wouldn't have started this thread  :)
and changing names shouldn't be a problem even after the editing cause it's only replacing some words. and it shouldn't take more than 5 minutes to go through the whole novel and find the words which should be replaced.
CoolKid3 wrote: For a foreigner point of view, it's catchy... I would even research for the origin when I get into the novel...
yeah well I'm a bit stupid. I already think "What would it be like when they will translate and sell it in Israel" or more correctly "how will the hebrew language destroy my creation?"
I know, it's stupid...

I'll consider everything being said in this thread  ;)
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Re: My novel - chapter 1

Post by hakkaino7 »

CoolKid3 wrote: Not related to topic... Currently doing night shifts (like me)?
Nope just was just still awake since it's was Friday and I could sleep all I want  ;D

Kor wrote: of course I am, otherwise I wouldn't have started this thread  :)
and changing names shouldn't be a problem even after the editing cause it's only replacing some words. and it shouldn't take more than 5 minutes to go through the whole novel and find the words which should be replaced.
Don't underestimate that, even in programming and with the use of Find and Replace (ctr+h in most editors) it's still dangerous to simple replace a lot single name/word/phrase... if you use something to quickly replace a lot of words then you might accidentally replace something you didn't intend to.... if you do it manually then you might miss something
Kor wrote: yeah well I'm a bit stupid. I already think "What would it be like when they will translate and sell it in Israel" or more correctly "how will the hebrew language destroy my creation?"
I know, it's stupid...
Don't worry, underestimating ones own language is common*. I know because I've been there. It will pass once you talk to other non-hebrew persons about your language.

*doesn't apply to Americans  :P
Akonyl wrote: the second law of thermodynamics states that all topics will tend towards maximal offtopicness.
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Re: My novel - chapter 1

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Aww. I saw this post earlier today and I was SUPPOSED TO BE the first poster, but no. Stupid connection. XD

Anyway, aside from some minor and common grammatical errors, this was great, really :-bd I am so going to buy this if it ever comes out in my country.
No amount of apologies will express how much I regret it.
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