DCTP Writing Group

If you have some randomness to share that you can't post elsewhere, this is the place to do it.
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mangaluva
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Re: DCTP Writing Group (week 5-6: CoolKid94 and Catching up)

Post by mangaluva »

Decent idea, though. Everyone who has something to submit can submit something, everyone who has time to critique critiques.

I don't really mind the format, I'd just like to keep this thread active. Giving and receiving critiques helps me keep motivated to write.
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Re: DCTP Writing Group (week 5-6: CoolKid94 and Catching up)

Post by Kor »

I guess we can try that, then.

Anyone who has something he'd like to submit, send it out between Friday and Sunday.
Let me know if you need the email list.
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Re: DCTP Writing Group (week 5-6: CoolKid94 and Catching up)

Post by bluekaitou1412 »

Hi, I'm sorry about being inactive (looks like I'm not the only one though, huh?). I've been attending peer workshops in RL and also being quite busy on TRYING to be a recognized writer here in my country so yeah. Got my hands full on local call for contributions. :D I DID read the ones that got sent to me and I really enjoyed them, even those that aren't finished yet I think, and then those that I had no idea if it was sequel or what. They made me want to write more, you know? XD Just moral support from me then, yeah? Maybe one of these days I can finally help with critiquing too, which I totally suck at—I bet you guys'll help me more than I could! Especially in writing in English.

Oh and, I'd like to submit one by next week if that's okay? Cheers!

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Re: DCTP Writing Group (week 5-6: CoolKid94 and Catching up)

Post by CoolKid94 »

I'd just like to let everyone know that I feel comfortable in letting people see the first six chapters in my novel if anyone is interested. It wouldn't be an official submission, just a follow-up to the previous one. The reason I'm not making it an official submission is because it comes out to be about 50 pages in a Word document and I know some people will see that and balk. :P

So the offer is open to anyone that asks. The big changes start up at around page 20 (the end of chapter three) if that's any consolation. ;)
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Re: DCTP Writing Group (week 5-6: CoolKid94 and Catching up)

Post by mangaluva »

I wouldn't mind reading that. Please email it to me if you like :)

I also wanna throw up a reminder that I have a full-length completed novel, The Red Dance, that I'd love to share with anyone who's up for reading and/or critiquing it--and the sequel, The Black Void, while half-done and mostly unedited, is also something I wouldn't mind sharing with anyone who's up for reading it, since I'm hoping to finish it for NaNoWriMo this year and could use some thoughts on what I've got. They're hella big, though--Red Dance is 231 pages in MS Word and Black Void thus far is 87--and I don't expect anybody to have time for that, but if you do please let me know :)
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Re: DCTP Writing Group (week 5-6: CoolKid94 and Catching up)

Post by CoolKid94 »

Sent. Hope it's enjoyable. ;) The offer remains open for everyone else, too.
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Re: DCTP Writing Group

Post by mangaluva »

I got it :) I might not get around to it for a couple of days since I've got stuff going on for my birthday today, but I promise I'll get it read and send you some feedback :)
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Re: DCTP Writing Group

Post by Commi-Ninja »

I'd say you could both send me your stuff, but I have no idea when I'll get to it. :/
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Re: DCTP Writing Group

Post by Henry Gordan »

Ok
Last NaNoWriMo I started to write novel. My First NaNo. You can guess what happened. Good start but then bang!
I meet some troubles at the third day. And then it was over.

Here you can read what I wrote before problems. WARNING!!! IT'S TRANsLATED WITH GOOGLE TRANSLATOR FOR QUICK WORK!!! IT HAS HORRIBLE GRAMMAR!!!
Spoiler:
1.luku
I listen to the cold water dripping. The water runs down the stout stone wall. High on the wall is a window that shows the starry sky. I sit on a small stool in the corner of the cell. I think I have been sellissäni for two days, without seeing you during the non-security guard who brought me food and water. Waiting for the moment when begins my journey to the capital, and the judgment.
"Up from the prisoner!" the guard shouted. "It is time to leave!"
I got up with difficulty, and I heard the guard to turn the key to robust door. Vetäistiin the door open, and I walked out. The dark of night saw four characters, a security guard. They tied my hands with a rope, as the chains were too big. The guards put me prison wagon and pushed me in. One of the guard came in with me and opened the bandages. He gave the bag with eye holes and said: "Keep away from this whenever you are not alone." After he left the cars and they went out the door as soon as laksahdettua lock.
Wagons waved unwanted glare on a bumpy road. I had a bad-feeling, the kind of which will ship in stormy weather. I was wondering if I had eaten something rotten or tended rid of me in silence. Häilyin of sleep and wakefulness on the border, until I ordered up. I was too tired to bother, because I was powerless. I put a bag in the head. The guard opened the door and lifted me up, guiding me out of the vehicle.
"I forgot to tie!" I thought. "Now I can try to escape."
Then I realized I was a big castle courtyard. I arrived Affair on the rock, the national center. It was midnight, and the stars shone in the sky. We had come here for three days, during which time I had received only twice for food. I had been in cars all the time, so I did not know how long we were.
I was taken to the long stone corridors, to a new dungeon. The guard opened the door and thrust me inside. I was given some food and a door was placed in the lock. I looked around. The cell was harsh, but I am glad I found to get to sleep right on the bed, and not just with straw on the floor. I sat on my bed and I started eating quiet. I got a watery soup, which was mostly potatoes, and bread and water. After I applied for the guards pans out, leaving the jug of water. After the door closed I watched the tiny window to the courtyard. Fluttered on the wall of the wall torches and guards patrolling the walls. Tired Kav's land, and I was hoping that I would see the nightmares.
"Wake prisoner! You have a special day today. For as much as a wash." the guard shouted.
I had been in the castle prison now for two days and three nights. The guard came in and left a small bucket of water on the table and clean clothes. In addition, I also got my second daily meal. The water felt wonderful on my face that I had not washed in week. The water was cold and it woke me up. The Royal Palace, prison is a much more pleasant, as the Count Purple prisoner cabin, which is really just a root cellar.
When I was first washed and wearing clean clothes, a guard came to my cell. At first I thought he just applying normally bowls away, but he nyökkäsikin me. I got up and he tied my hands. I realized that I exported to an audience with the king. I was glad that I was allowed to wash. It sparked a spark of hope inside of me. Why the death doomed to be washed and clothed, when he is taken to be judged?
I was transported to a dungeon in a small courtyard. The sunlight was blinding for a moment. It was a bright summer day, almost the middle of summer. Midsummer celebrations was probably only a couple of weeks time. Security guard guided me to the castle, create, a small door, which opened the servants' break room. I was taken to a room on the other side, and then the door to the staircase that took part of the royal castle.
"I was taken yourself an audience with the king in his own studio." I thought.
At first, the idea got scared, but calmed down when I realized that I would be in front of many people, as a rule, judgments were distributed to the general public in front. I was ushered into the room where the king oli.Hän sat at the table and flip through the book. The door opens, he turned his gaze on me. The guard pushed me as I was left to stare at the king. I was standing in the middle of the room and the guard left. I was amazed that the guard left inside.
The king rose from his chair and walked over to me and said: Do not you know that you would bow to me? "I bowed quickly, and the king smiled a little. "You know what you are accused of, young man." I nodded in response and said, "Sala attempted murder."
"Exactly. Normally, you would get the rope, but after getting to hear that you are about young, you get a second chance. Do you know why you have that bag on your head? "The king asked
"In order for me to not be recognized of course. But I can not say to be more accurate. "I replied.
"Just so you will not be recognized. And so in such a way I could take you a favor. "
The service? Me ?. A person who was a week ago, tried to murder one of his kreiveistään. I looked wide-eyed king for a long moment. Into her presence, doubts that he lied. But there was no sign of it. he seemed perfectly normal in fine clothes. Light gray hair and beard emphasized his age and the blue eyes looked intently at me. Finally, I realized that he was waiting for my answer.
"What shall I do, Your Highness?" I asked timidly.
"As you know, as soon as mid-summer is a time for celebration. Then there is the habit of taking new apprentices, who also act as servants. You get the honor to apply for. Promoters are usually less than fifty. They come in all different conditions; part of the farming families, some are orphans. That is the reason why you have a bag on your head. I do not want to recognize you lest you be in a different situation. "
I was silent. I had not imagined this happening. I thought I had just to get a quick judgment. Now I got to get to hear the "judgment" to serve the king.
"For this small bag of money to get you through these couple of weeks. And be sure to arrive at the scene. You get here yet this character that you enter discreetly to servant taking up names. He must not know who left it. But he knows that if he gets one, he must report it to me. You got it?, "the king said, giving a small bag and a red metal button.
I nodded in response and said, "Thank you Your Highness. I’ll arrive in time. "
Kyningas nodded and said, “I tell the guard to guide you out of the castle. Only when you are away from prying eyes, you take that out of the bag. "
The king would pull the string, and the guard stepped in. The king ordered the guards had said, and as I left the guard carried away. We went the same route out as what we had come in, but the guard did not take me back to the selleille, but around the back of the bush, which found a small door, which could accommodate a person to crawl. I crawled out and ran into the woods away from the castle. I took the hood off. I was free.
The end of the day wandering in the woods, and I enjoy the peace. I went to lie down against a tree. I thought about everything that had happened today, aj I liked it as a dream. After a while, I fell asleep in a peaceful sleep. I woke up, I realized that the day had been long and that I was hungry. I had not eaten anything since this morning. I decided to go towards the Syrjärotkonkaupunkia, which was located below the castle rock, about a mile from the gate. But I was on the other side, so the trip was more than double the distance. In addition, I preferred to kirtää the castle a little further away.
I arrived at the edge of the city to the area of land, where there were a lot of farms in the middle of the fields. I decided to go to ask whether it would be in one of the farm work into these a couple of weeks, so I could get a legal Sleeping place. So I decided to go to the nearest farm to create.
Outside there sat an old man on the stairs of barn. He was curving something out of wood, what appeared to be an ax handle. He was humming the tune when I arrived at her. The man's face was thin, and he was of medium length. Strong hands cut big chips of wood.
"What are you kid running around?" The old man asked. "You're not doing something bad?"
"I don’t sir, I came only to ask whether I could work here for a few weeks, untill the the midsummer celebrations are up?" I replied shyly. "I'm going to see apply for a place at the court of the king's servant, but I do not have mitää a place to be these a couple of weeks."
"Master of the house, that is my son, not now, not at home. He should came home within the hour. He knows if you can stay. "The old man answered, and continued his work.
I waited for an elderly person's house until the master, just as the old man had said, arrived an hour. He came to the barn creates and looked at me questioningly. I stood up and introduced myself.
"I am Hany, sir. I came to ask whether you need an employee a couple of weeks until mid-summer celebrations. "
"What are you going to do then, once you have some short time work needed?" The man asked. "Are you going to try the King's service, right?"
"How can you guessed?" I said a stunned expression on my face. "For I have not told about it here as your father."
"Let's just say that even though the experience. Almost every year, this will be one of a couple of weeks ahead of time in order to be sure to be among the first. I always figured one works. The reward is food and a place to sleep. "
"It fit me perfectly." I replied with a smile. I was glad that I got to the place where to wait for access to the castle.
The man said the name Plag. He seemed to be in his thirties. He had his father's face, but the younger ones. He guided me into the house. It was a simple house, which was one large room and two smaller ones in which the household was asleep. The second of those came against the host's wife. This was the husband of the same age and a little pyöräkkä. Red, long hair covering woman's face, which was full of freckles.
"Engeth, this is Hany. Hany asked for work a couple of weeks food and lodging for the answers. "Plag said, and sat down on the bench at the table.
"Are you hungry?" Asked Engeth
"I have not really eaten since this morning. And have not come here almost all day. "I replied.
"Did you come here to seek the king's court doctrine?" Engeth asked, bringing a large pan on the table.
I nodded in response and I took my plate of food for a few loading cycles.
We sat in the courtyard, the host told the state while Parsi sukkiaan. At last the sun settles forest hide behind late in the evening, I moved to the loft bed garage. The hostess gave me a blanket covering for, although the summer night would probably be warm. I went to the comfort of hay and pulled the blanket on me. Sniffing the fresh scents of summer, and I realized I fall asleep peacefully for the first time in two years.

Chapter 2.

I watched the night landing in the fire lit in the yard. I held onto my little sister's hand tightly. My mind was blank. I thought about seeing a nightmare and waking up soon on when my mother cook in the kitchen and stewing porridge. Soon, he would shout to me to wake up and come eat.
But it did not happen. I watched the still burning my home. The roof creaked and fell sparks recoilless down. The neighbors had tried to fight the fire, but did not succeed in it. Suddenly, I felt the familiar friction ankle. My cat was at my feet and wanted to arms. To let go of my sister's hand descended to pet cats. I do not remember its name. Mtta it had come to wake me and my sister. We had slept in the granary, because it was warm in the summer. Cat gray fur was soft and warm.
A neighbor took me and my sister for the night, but in the village was only a small number of large families who could not afford to educate me and my sister. So I decided to go with my sister to look for a new home in the nearby villages. We will not be held back nothing really. Our parents had died in a fire that was quickly got big. Our neighbors gave us some food for our journey. They were sorry for us, but they knew that their food resources sufficient for the winter time. I do not have them in evil doing so, but I could not help but feel the bitterness of my destiny.
We started to walk towards the adjacent village, the mill Perä. It was bigger than your own village, so there is hope for both of us will find places to live, even if only in the same village, if not in the same house. The distance of the mill was a rear-end three miles, so I sought get there a couple of days. Although I doubted coping and well-being of my sister, I do not intend to extend the travel time. I knew that what we had this longer on the road, someone could try to plunder us a slave ship.
I looked behind me, the familiar landscapes disappeared behind. The cat walked behind, it senses pain. The cat could not have been left behind on its own initiative. So many cats were valued Shakuin Kingdom. I had not heard that anyone would uskalatanut kill a cat if it was already opened his eyes. Eye-opening as a sign of the fact that the cat sitter of this world. If the cat's eye opening lasted a long time, it could mean the house to the accident. In this case, the puppy was to drown, but even then his eyes were covered with a cloth so that it will be able to see who was drowned.
We walked a bumpy road with my sister. We were neither accustomed to walk a lot, so our legs began to tire quickly. But despite continued our journey towards a new home. The landscape changed from open fields to forests. Birds sang merrily, and I partially forgotten why I was walking out of the home. I started to remember all those songs, which my father had sung. I got one in my mind and I began to sing.




There is a house with a warm sweet,
from there 'a bit of a find a home.
And the cat spinning merry,
you can hear pangolta the oven it.

There is a house with a warm sweet,
from there 'a bit of a find a home.
And the son of running merry,
you get to see it close up.

There is a house with a warm sweet,
from there 'home to find little.
And the sweet smell of the food,
already meets a boy hungry.

Singing does not come any better feeling. My sister was silent, but I found her crying. I felt myself to be close to tears, but I tried to keep them in check so as not to slow down your journey. I was going to try to Summer Lake to the beach for the night. It would be about halfway, and I knew it to be krovin controller name. My father had told Ramojin offer cheap accommodation in need thereof. It would Krouvi building comfortable to sleep on, but for me enough to the stable loft. We had walked for a couple of hours when I realized that I was hungry. We sat quietly at the foot of a tree beside the road and I cut a piece of bread to my sister. I took the bread to myself, and flick it with butter. On the road had not come to anyone, but it was not surprising, because the road led to a larger village and along the road did not have much of houses.
The end of the day, we continued walking in silence. My sister had never been at home all the loud person, so we have experienced the horrors at least not get him more talkative. My sister walked ahead, so as not to fall behind. But realizing my hurry, she walked briskly step by step. I watched as her wheat colored hair danced in the wind quietly. She had the same hair as my mother and me. My hair did not want to stay how someone wanted to. They seemed to be a mind of their own. A small hint of smile rose to my lips at the thought of hair their own will. I went on humming something to get my mind under control.
We arrived to the inn at dusk and we went in. A tavern was nearly empty. Corner table sat a young man dressed in dark clothes. We walked to the table was wiping the host creates.
"What are you doing here?" The host asked in a gentle voice. "Did you strayed?"
"I'm Hady, and this is my sister Nada." I presented to us, "We are moving in a rear-end mill to find a place where to live. Our parents died in a fire in the village, and there was no ketää that could keep care of us. We need a roof over our heads on the first night. For us, invalid tallikin "
Publican came pitying look, and he said: "Sad to hear of your parents. I am Ramoj, this inn owner. I do not have hardly any customers when there is no time to market. So you get to sleep just the right room. "
Ramoj gave us the key and directed us to the upper floor. The room was rather small and there was only one bed, but it was more than adequate for the two of us. Rejoicing the treatment we went to sleep on the bed.
I woke up late. The sun was already high, and the birds were singing loudly. I woke my sister and we got out of bed. We went down and saw Ramojin to take out the bread.
"Good morning, I hope you slept well. You will find this a little bit of bread so that you have to walk hungry. "
We gratefully bread and we continued our journey. The town, which we strive for the Count Purple regional center, Bright bay, which was located in Clear Lake. The weather seemed to favor us, even though the horizon began to pay off the rain clouds. Our travelling speed was better than the previous day. The road ran along the lake and the water glistened in the sunshine. I felt they cope much better than the previous day, and my sister was a little fresher.
When I started to get closer to the city, the number of people on the road began to increase. Against us was an old couple horse-drawn carriage and the gang me a lot of the older boys who laughed happily. The fields were returned to the edge of the road in the past, when we had a lunch. We had been looking for water to drink from public well, which was next to the road.
We arrived at the outskirts of the city after a period of food and we decided to go to one of Farmhouse ask for a place to stay. Our host and hostess were friendly and they gave us sleep pehkuissa. Their children looked at us a little bit weird and their mother explained that we would have to be nice. But we are not interested to play with them.
Remembering our purpose, I opened my mouth to caution: "I wonder if the value of the lady needs to know someone here maids and hired men? We are in fact orphans and willing to work with the food wage. "
The hostess looked at me a little amused and said, "Oh boy, can you say to yourself comfortable hired man? But remember, closer to the city resident host Check longed for maids. So I recommend to ask there. But now could be the best that you go just to sleep "
This partial credit for the settlement of matters of hours, I went to sleep next to my sister to hay.

3. Chapter

I woke up in the morning, a rooster crowed nearby henhouse roof. The morning was cloudy and a bit hazy. I got up heinäkasasta. I had a dream about my trip from their home villages.
I thought the sound was walking across the yard to the empty house, "Sister, I'm sorry I have not been able to meet you. But I promise to come back to you. "Inside the house floated the smell of freshly baked bread.
"Well, good morning. I guess you slept well in July together? "The hostess told refreshed. I nodded in response, and I sat down at the table. On the table was a large pot of porridge and fresh bread. I cut myself a slice of bread and butter, I'd pull over. I watched as the bread can be melted slowly dripping through soon. I ate some bread and the host came over to greet me a wave of his hand.
"Well, did ya sleep well, or were you wooing girls" the host asked jokingly. Flushing I shook my head and continued eating. The host laughed and continued: "I was just joking, no need to get angry about. You can use your power today to help me repair a cartwheel. But, first, feeding the pigs and chickens. "
I went to the table, we got to make me commanded chores. It took me just a little time, so I went looking for my master. I found him milking two cows with a nearby farm to. I helped my master to take full hinkit basement. After this we went to the barn, which were found in the family a better horse carts. They left wheel was broken. My host raised the lever Karrin the left side of the air, and I put the log to keep it up. After this, unchained the pin had the wheel axle and remove the old wheel.
"You know how Seems to do this type of work." Host kehaisi. "But osaatkos harness the power of the horse?"
"I bet you are!" I said, surprising myself keenness.
"Well, then success in the garage, and harness the power of the right-hand stalls of the Teri. It has a temperate and easy to harness. "Host told. I went thrilled you for your confidence in pride.
The host had been right in relation to the horse, and when I went back to the host creates, he had received the carts corrected. So, we went to visit the town. I felt a little sting of conscience, when I realized that the master did not want to put me hard right away. But I forgot the matter soon, when we arrived at the square. It was big compared to Clear the Gulf, the city where I was a child. Square was the sale of all kinds. An old lady who sold her charms, and opposite to him, the young man sold the newly caught fish. The children ran to the crowd and the adults watched the stalls of products.
"Well, well there's someone completely unknown to the boy." My host said and pointed towards the baker's booth. The dark-haired boy, who seemed ikäiseltäni, watched the bread to the hungry oloisena. I thought that he might be the way to the king's servant, so I put in his appearance in the memory.
My host probably thought I wanted to go to create my age so he said: "Go ahead, but be sure to be here an hour. JSO you are late you will walk. "
Cheerfully I jumped down and started walking karryiltä produce the dark haired boy towards. When I got close to her, I noticed that there was not a boy but a girl. I thought that the master was thinking of making me a practical joke, and I thought to turn back, but she noticed me. So I went to the courtesy to him.
"Who are you," the girl asked a little fearful voice.
"I'm Hady. What about you? "
"I'm Ella. I came here to get some ... "
"You came here to seek the king." We complemented his sentences with. 'Then we have the same intention. But you do not affect the local coast. Where are you?
"I let the transaction. Do you know it? It is a coastal town near the point where the King River flows into the sea. "Ella explained enthusiastically.
I nodded and continued to know the query: "your parents sent you here or are you an orphan?
Ella thought for a moment, but finally replied: "My parents died in the mine is small, so I do not really remember them. Living my aunt's house, but I wanted out of it. So I decided to go here. What about you? "
"My parents died two years ago. My sister is clear in Lahti, Finland, where he has been ever since our parents died. "
Similarity prompted us talkative and talked about this and that and walked around the stalls. When the hour was almost the end, we came back to where we started.
"I hope we'll meet again." Ella said, and smiled.
"Tapaammehan we at least in the castle. But we could go the same distance to get there. Oh, and the midsummer celebration time, there is a lot of all kinds. "I said, laughing.
My host arrived and we left to return to the farm.
"Well, Was it a nice girl?" My host said with a grin.
I replied with a shrug, and he began to laugh out loud.
"Or that it is being stuck on immediately! Oh, this young gentle "
When we got back to the farm, we went to eat. Ilemmalla old man told stories of the last dragon and Prince shell, which was killed in order to win a bet against his brother, and in order to activate this Mielitty. I retired early in the loft garage, so I refreshed in the morning. My host was told that it would be haymaking time and that the following days would be long.

4. Chapter

I woke up again the rooster crows at the time, and I went into the room to eat. Dad was already awake and he sharpened the scythes. The hostess put snacks ready. I ate a lot for breakfast that I would have the midday break up. We went to the track of the field, which was a quarter of a mile away. We let the horse go, and we started job. I was not used to work in July, so the host was first model. Soon I began to reap myself, and sweat began to flow into my face. The sun was shining in a cloudless sky. I got thirsty and went to drink water source. I looked at the road, so there's a familiar figure. Ella was walking. Waved to him and he came to me.
"Hello beautiful lady. Is not it nice weather. "I said with a grin.
"Oh, yes, sir. I see that you are covered in sweat. It is nice to have a clear field of work in this weather. "He replied cheerfully. "You're probably going to the marketplace today?"
"There's no time during the day, and at night I can not." Replied harmistuneellaa voice.
"Well, we have a lot of time in the middle of summer festival to be at the market. After all, we have to be in the castle at the time than a minute.
"Yes. But I have to start to earn my bread. "I said, and lifted scythe in" See you tomorrow, if I have time. "
"Let's do it. Bye! "Ella said, and went away.
I went back to work a little annoyed that I could not go according to Ellen. We continued to work at noon, when we had a break.
"It is but to woo the girls and do some work," my master said, laughing. The hostess looked at him seriously but not me in his raillery matter. We ate bread sitting at the shadow of a three. We liked the food a little rest and continued job. We got a field mown a couple of hours and we were off. I was tired from the day on the field and I fell asleep as soon as I got to the loft barn. I slept for several hours, until the matron came to me by evening to get me to eat. I climbed down and saw that the food was out. We ate the roast, which was enough for several days. After this, the host and hostess went to the sauna. I waited and sharpened my knife while waiting. I looked at that masters and his wife should be the sauna yet the moment, so I went to the nearby birch grove make for myself only. When the hosts came out of the sauna, I went to turn in there. The sauna was nice and warm. I threw some water on the stove and the stove hissed happily. I began to warm up for a minute and then basking in the receivable with. After a short time in the sauna began to be intolerably hot, and I painuin courtyard. I ran down to the dock in the cool water.
When I was swimming in hetke, I returned to the sauna to warm up. I noticed then that the sauna porch had appeared in a small tankard of beer. Happily my master's kindness seat on the bench and drank a cold drink. After this I went to another dip in the lake. Dried up myself linen towel, which I had received the hostess loan. I walked into the garage when you are tired and fell asleep immediately.

5. Reading

The following days were spent working. I did not have time to meet Ellania. Case did not otherwise disturbed me, but I regret that I was not able to keep my promise. It had been about a week when I met him last. I was seivästänyt hay and made all other kinds. But now, the day before midsummer feast I had gotten my work done. I helped clean the house and made the hosts for the winter vastoja. Historically, it was the middle of summer on the eve of the feast.
But now I was at the market, and thus Ellan was walking there. She probably felt the stalls of content from the outside, but to enjoy their viewing. Suddenly, I had the idea that I could try to säikäyttäää him. I crept quietly behind the stalls closer to the girl. She had not noticed me. Ella walked forward and I moved behind her, to be his shadow. I jumped on his back so that I got him felled safely. Ella screamed and I laughed. Soon after, he began to laugh with me.
"You Despicable Me." He said, laughter vacation. "Scare you now like that innocent woman."
"I'm sorry, but I could not resist the temptation." I said. I helped him up. "I'm sorry I have not been able to meet you. I have been forced to work on my master, and after work I'm not too tired to go on any longer. "
"Nothing will bring harm." Ellen said with a laugh. "I actually mostly walked here and there. AND been swimming, the water is lovely temperature and refreshing in this heat. "
Nyökkä response to sin, and we went for a walk. We walked in silence for a while until we started to talk to the middle of summer festivals, and the king's house together going. We got excited about this, because neither of us felt the castle itself in any way. I had not told him that I was like the orphan, I do it that I had been arrested for the assassination of the company.
"I thought I should not be friends, at least not until I had the King's service." Ella said.
I nodded in response and said: "Neither do I, I have never had a lot of friends.
We continued walking and eventually we ended up PLAG place. We said goodbye to each other, and I went to the sauna. I went to bed early that night, because I knew that I should not sleep well. Somewhere thunder rumbled, and as soon as it started to rain pouring. I fell asleep at some point in the night, but I was monitored for a long time thinking tomorrow.
"The new opportunity," I thought.
Morning came too soon. I was tired, but excited. I woke up before cockcrow restless sleep. I was not in a hurry, so I tried to sleep for a while after the rooster crows. However, I got some sleep, so I went into the room to eat.
"Good morning and good mid-summer feast." The hostess said cheerfully. "My husband heaters sauna for you."
I was surprised to fully, because I had not asked for the sauna, because I was at the sauna last night. A little later, after I breakfast, I went to the sauna. I settled down in the sauna and I felt the warmth relaxing me. My thoughts slowly declined and fell asleep. I was not aware of how much I was fast asleep, but when I woke fear that I was late run in my mind. Rinsed the sweat off and I went to an urgent need of the square, which was between the farm and the castle. I ran as if I had been chasing a herd of wolves.
I arrived sweaty outdoor market, where Ella was waiting for me.
"Iguessnottoolate?" I said too quickly and Ella just looked at me questioningly. "I guess not too late."
"Oh, you're certainly not. I just arrived as well. "she said cheerfully. Then she looked at me more closely and said, "Well, why are you pretty sweaty?"
"I ran over here because I thought I had fallen asleep for too long." I said, out of breath.
"You ran in vain, but now we will still be better to go. If we go in time, we get to market faster. a large airport. "Ella said, and started to walk towards the castle.
We walked in silence to begin with. The day was beautiful andthe thunder last night had made the air fresh. A few other young man was on his way towards the Secluded Cliff Castle, which the inhabitants called Rock Keep. Name was due to three things: it was shorter and easier to write than in Secluded Cliff Castle, the castle was on bedrock and it was partly carved into the rock.
Ran past us at high speed on my age, the son of my other path.
"Scruff" Ella said, and created the evil eye boy.
In the same boy slipped from the previous night's rain to cause a puddle. Boy's clothes got wet. I could not help but laugh, and soon all the other nearby laughed. Fallen sons not naurattanut.
The trip went otherwise, without the events. We arrived at the gates of the castle and the king Eleathorin colors of green and golden dressed guards investigating arms against us. After this we were taken to the great hall of the castle. It was filled with tables. We sat at the table and we stayed waiting for some kind of start-up speech. Soon arrived well dressed old man on the stand from the hall.
"Kröhöm. Welcome to The Secluded Cliff Castle. You have come here to free will to serve the king. I am the king of Eleathorin advisor Javren. Without further ado begin capturing the mid-summer meal. "
The man left the podium and from the corners of the hall entered great number of servants. They carried large plates full of food. Some carried the plates and goblets, jugs full of the traditional part of the mid-summer of mead. I had never seen anything like it. So I looked at Ella and I saw her puzzled gaze. He could not believe his eyes. The board was carried Shakuin Kingdom of the greatest delights. Smoked fish, which was made in Secluded Cliff’s secret recipe, the goat from good hunting area between Clear Lake and Secluded Cliff, the softest of rye bread from Deep creek shores.
I was no longer interested in what was on offer. I just wanted a taste of each kind. So I looked at Ella, who nodded. We went quietly dig. We ate hours ajan.Meille served for dessert blue lake shore grazing cows milk made curd cheese, which was caught up in fresh strawberries. I had never eaten the equivalent amount of goodies.
"I see that you are eating well"
I turned to look and saw the stand there with the king.
"Now you have the opportunity to apply for a favor. If you wish to stay, go to the register to a scribe student. They have a large door on both sides of taking your information. Other hand, if you do not want to come to serve me, you are free to leave. "
The king nodded and left. Began to ripple and hard part of those present began to rush towards the scribe of the aspirant. Since I did not feel any desire to stick to the other between the controlled Ellan to sit down to the table.
"Either you are going to apply for a specific job, or just as a maid?" I asked from Ellan.
"I have not any thought about it. Do you know? "Ella said watching the throngs of gangs.
"I do not, but probably I will try to guard, or if all goes well, Bodyguards." I said and turned to see the King. He sat upright in the throne, wearing a cloak turkiskauluksinen, Korean röyhelökauluksinen shirt and neat leather vest. Wears a shirt he had agreed, also röyhelöiset, housusukat. Green and gold were the colors that were in the kingdom officially at his disposal. His father, they were dark blue and red. From there, was the daughter of the king of ottu red colors were black and red.
"Hady? Should we already go to the queue? "Ella asked and woke me from my thoughts. I looked queues were shortened considerably. We boarded the table and went to the Queue. The chosen string passed quickly, the scribe was probably fast.
Soon Ella was the scorer interviewed.
"Name?" Asked the scribe
"Ellan." The girl replied
"Age and Place of birth?"
"Nine and I Clear the Gulf."
"Specific competencies?"
"I cast candles and knit. Both read and write a little. "
"All right. Now go in the castle yard to wait. Next. "
I walked nervously to the scorer creates. He was about fifteen summer and he was confident gaze. I did not think I could leave the king's characters for her.
"Name?" scribe asked happily on that I was the last of his line.
So main problem is how does he give that mark badge to scriber without him noticing it.
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Kamite
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Re: DCTP Writing Group

Post by Kamite »

I am bumping this for those who are still seeking help. *cough*
Kor
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Re: DCTP Writing Group

Post by Kor »

Why must you remind me of this thing I didn't manage to keep going? :V
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Iwamoto Yuri
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Re: DCTP Writing Group

Post by Iwamoto Yuri »

:V
I could use help though... I actually want to write a book, but I have trouble figuring out how to start...
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k11chi

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Re: DCTP Writing Group

Post by k11chi »

Umm i'm writing right now, it's not that special... I wrote one for july's Camp and now I go to a novel writing course and it's the same thing. The main thing to get something done is just to write...

After I finished most of my first work I read Curtain (Poirot's last case) and that had the same setting as mine.. Very classic soft-boiled mystery setting I guess... Though the ending was nice and planned in Curtain. Impressive to say the least.

Now I'm reading By The Time You Read This by Giles Blunt and this seems like a thriller/possible hard-boiled detective fiction. Impressive writing style in the sense of how everything is mentioned and stuff I guess (as in the author can imagine everything he writes better than most I guess-that's why it's a best-seller, I guess) but nothing else seems out of the ordinary, very uninspired storyline and the author could do miracles if he bothered creating interesting characters. Also 50 pages in and the story hasn't moved a bit aside from in one of the first chapters. Wtf.

Anyway what was my point again... Oh well.
Kor
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Re: DCTP Writing Group

Post by Kor »

Iwamoto Yuri wrote::V
I could use help though... I actually want to write a book, but I have trouble figuring out how to start...
You will have to be a bit more specific what trouble you're facing exactly. Is it about starting to put text on paper? Is it specifically the first sentence? Is it planning it out?
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Iwamoto Yuri
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Re: DCTP Writing Group

Post by Iwamoto Yuri »

Kor wrote:
Iwamoto Yuri wrote::V
I could use help though... I actually want to write a book, but I have trouble figuring out how to start...
You will have to be a bit more specific what trouble you're facing exactly. Is it about starting to put text on paper? Is it specifically the first sentence? Is it planning it out?
Oh, I have plenty of ideas, and I pretty much have an order of events figured out along with background research I have done to figure out how the characters would act... I'm really invested in them, how they work, how their background influenced them and the themes I want to work in to reflect certain things...
At the same time I don't know where or how it would be best to start... I've tried, but everything I put on paper just doesn't seem to do them any justice, which feels really frustrating because of how far I've gotten in figuring out the characters... They already feel like they'd be able to live a life of their own yet I can't find the right words for them.
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Yuri gets advice from little fairies, and is thereby not held responsible for any stupid action
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The Doctor wrote:There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.
The Doctor wrote:Remember: Hate is always foolish, and love is always wise.
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