Title: Forgiveness
Fandom: Detective Conan/Magic Kaito
Characters: Sato Miwako, Takagi Wataru, Kuroba Kaito
Word Count: 830
Rating: K+
Summary: When I opened the door he held out his hands and asked me to arrest him…
“It’s been a week. Or something like a week. A year maybe. There we go. It’s been a year already.
“And here I am again. And this year/week/day/whatever hasn’t quite dulled the pain. It’s too early for me to be here. Or too late to start coming. Something like that.
“Because I can still hear you in the back of my mind. Still see your embarrassed face, your expression of constant bewilderment. As if you’d been dropped into your life in the middle and were still struggling to learn the rules without missing your cue. I can still feel your breath on my face, the times that we almost-not-quite kissed.
“And if I counted the times I’ve glanced over my shoulder to make sure that you’re staying in position and watching our backs, I’d lock myself in a padded cell.
“Did you know, when you gave me that ring, that wearing a ring on that finger means that you’re engaged? I didn’t then. Now I do. And I still have your ring. I’m wearing it now.
“I hope you don’t blame him. I know I do. If it weren’t for him, you’d still be here. You’d still be alive.
“But I know you wouldn’t blame him.
“He came to my apartment that next day. The day after the only thing that was stolen was your chance to say goodbye. He came to my door, wearing a blue shirt and khaki pants and a baseball cap pulled low over his eyes. It was a blue cap, with white on the underside of the brim. And when I opened the door he held out his hands and asked me to arrest him.
“But I didn’t. I didn’t arrest him. I didn’t shoot him. I let him in and made him tea. That’s what you would have done, right? Let him in and talked it over.
“He toyed with his hat the whole time I was making the tea, flipping it over and over in his hands. It was a blue cap, with white on the underside of the brim.
“He looked like me. Or at least like I should have looked, if I hadn’t tried to look as if nothing had happened. As if you were going to show up at any moment and stare at us in confusion. Because back then, I still knew you weren’t dead.
“His face was gray. He had bags under his eyes like twin bruises. His eyes were blue. They were the empty sky, when all the clouds have blown away. But his voice was calm. Or dead.
“And he said what I had wanted him to say.
“It really was all his fault.
“He handed me his wallet. So I could identify him. Every police officer’s dream, identifying him. There was an ID card. His name, age, address, blood type. His high school.
“He was flipping his cap in his hands, around and around and around. Like the world. It was a blue cap, with white on the underside of the brim. His eyes were the empty sky, when all the clouds have blown away. It really was all his fault.
“Did you know he’s seventeen? Seventeen, goes to Ekoda High. Has a girlfriend. There was a picture of them, side-by-side in a photo booth, messy hair and laughter in their eyes. He has a mother. A mother standing at the window during a purple sunset, dishrag in her hand and dinner half-finished. His father’s dead, you can tell from the age of the family picture. A father who stood straight and tall and confident, with leadership and kindness in his blue eyes.
“He’s only a child.
“Messy, messy brown-black hair that eats combs for breakfast. Blue eyes that should be the ocean, not empty sky. A joyful, life-full smile that splits his face in the pictures. He’s a kid, and he loves life.
“His face was gray. The bags beneath his eyes were twin bruises. Empty sky. His voice was dead.
“I hugged him.
“He wasn’t expecting that. Or if he was he expected me to cry. But I knew that, even though I was so hurt, so broken, it wasn’t my fault. We both knew it was his.
“I know he didn’t expect to break down and cry. But I let him. And I held him until he stopped.
“I couldn’t arrest him. You understand, right? Even though it is all his fault. Because he’s seventeen, goes to high school, has a girlfriend and a mother.
“You understand, right? He’s just a kid, with too much to handle, too early. His father stood straight and tall and confident, with leadership and kindness in his blue eyes. His eyes were the empty sky, when all the clouds have blown away.
“I couldn’t arrest him. He has to live with his choices, has to learn to fix himself.
“Besides, you would have forgiven him. Right? Even if it had been me who jumped between a criminal and a bullet. You would have told him that it was alright, accidents happen.
“But… I’m not you. And I know that I will never be able to forgive him.
“Besides, we all know it’s all his fault.
Right. I’m assuming that you all understood what happened here. No? Alright then. Takagi is dead. And Sato is talking to him. Apparently, (and I’m working this all out), there was an accident during a KID heist. That explains Kaito showing up at Sato’s house… …
Yeah… this is a slightly edited version of the one on my fanfiction.net account, nothing major, just a few changes in the ending.
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